This year’s CES 2013 didn’t disappoint when it comes to advertising technology via scantily clad women and sexist ads. I’ve composed a handy guide for tech companies on how they can do a better job with TEH LADEEZ.

Don’t talk down to women about technology
We might understand it better than you do. If your spiffy new ultrabook has twelve gigabytes of RAM, say, “Our spiffy new ultrabook has twelve gigabytes of RAM.” Don’t say, “It’s got plenty of room for all your family videos.”

Don’t base your product’s selling point on its looks
I’m not buying your phone because it’s pink. I’m buying it because it does what I want. If you patronize me by covering it in pastels and flowers, I am much more likely to walk out the door and buy your competitor’s plain black phone instead.

Don’t dumb down the technology
Believe it or not, some women actually use the full processing power of their computers. If the only difference between the women’s and men’s version of your product is that one of them is pink with a processor that couldn’t power a toothbrush, go back to the drawing board.

Don’t use booth babes and dancing girls
The only “booth babes” we want to see are female employees of your company, dressed professionally and ready to answer technical questions. You’ll gain far more customers by demonstrating that your company is friendly to women than by associating your product with naked girls in bodypaint. Trust me, your female employees will be REALLY happy that they don’t have to spend yet another expo cringing and apologizing.

Don’t use sexual innuendo in your advertising
It’s not cute. It’s degrading and it implies that your company is full of juvenile twelve-year-olds who still giggle at penis jokes.

Don’t tell us how your product will help us get our shopping done
We’d rather know if it supports NFC and how long the battery charge will last. Oh, and whether or not your system is vulnerable to malware (looking at you, Android).

Do ask us what we want
We’re happy to tell you what technology interests us as women, but you need to ASK US. Don’t assume. Study the mistakes of other companies and put measures in place to avoid similar incidents. Pay attention to what goes on in the world of geek women. Refuse to participate in conferences that don’t include women speakers or anti-harassment policies. Speak up when sexism occurs at conferences or online. Refuse to stand by while women are subjected to online harassment that threatens them with rape and murder. Hire female employees and make sure you’re cultivating a corporate culture where their opinions and efforts are equally valued.

Do you have any tips on how tech companies can market to women without looking like idiots? Share in the comments! (Remember, comments moderated against spambots. Trolls, flamebait, and other shenanigans will not be posted.)

This week we celebrate Ada Lovelace Day, in honor of women in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math). Around the world today, people are talking about women who have inspired them.

I wish to dedicate my post, not to one specific person, but to all of you unsung women out there who are slogging through careers in information technology – despite the harassment and abuse.

You know who you are. You’re the help deskers, the server admins, the programmers, the network engineers. You do the same jobs that the men do, and get paid less for it with less recognition. You make hard choices between career and family, and are expected to do so without complaint or rancor. You’re stressed out and dissatisfied, and you’ve had it up to HERE with the rampant misogyny in the conference room and expo hall.

And yet – you love the technology. You love troubleshooting. You’re really annoyed at that network problem but damn if it isn’t satisfying to solve it. (Thinking right now about the time the thicknet trunk went down and it turned out some idiot had hung his coat from a vampire tap…) Maybe that guy on the third floor still can’t figure out how to print from Word, and maybe that lady in accounting keeps locking herself out of her account, but that’s okay. You’ve got the trouble tickets and you’re gonna own them.

I’ve been reading recent stories from some of my sisters-in-tech, and I am appalled. It seems sexism and discrimination against female techies is getting worse. Please read these, think about them, then ask yourself if you are contributing positively or negatively to this situation.

• NetMagazine.com: A Primer On Sexism In The Tech Industry
  “If I’d have to sum it up as one problem, it’s that many groups, but women especially, are still discriminated against heavily, while those with privilege don’t want to be seen as culpable and even like to argue that these problems don’t exist altogether. Women, in particular, suffer from tremendous social and professional challenges and pressures, as well as threats to their physical well-being, as a result of these problems.”
• io9: The Great Geek Sexism Debate
  “Over the past few months, three of the most influential conventions in geekdom — Readercon (for science fiction writers), The Amazing Meeting (for skeptics), and DefCon (for hackers) — have been at the center of very public discussions about sexism and sexual harassment in their communities. After all three conventions in 2012, women spoke out publicly about episodes of sexual harassment and humiliation they experienced at the cons. The fallout was ugly — but also awesome. Here’s what happened, and what’s still happening, as formerly male-dominated geek spaces make way for women.”
• New Statesman: This Is What Online Harassment Looks Like
  “As the months have gone on, and more “trolls” (or “online bullies”, if you’re a semantic stickler) have been exposed, the perception that what we’re talking about when we talk about online harrassment is “a few mean comments” or an insult or two has grown.”

I’ve talked before about the harassment, the dumbing-down of technology marketed for women, and some of my own experiences with discrimination as a woman in IT:

• Why Aren’t There More Women In Tech? After All, Microsoft Has BIG BOOBS And Azure Girls!
  “It’s reported that Microsoft Azure relies heavily on the BIG BOOBS constant, to the extent that changing it would be a major issue. Draw your own conclusions about how much fun it must be for any women working in the Azure department.”
• Microsoft Is Just For Men, Plus Girls In Short Skirts FOR SCIENCE!
  “Is this how Microsoft wishes to advertise itself? Well then, as a woman in technology, I have some constructive criticism for them. Let’s consider the uproar over forcing people into Windows 8′s annoying Metro interface. Let’s consider the lackadaisical response to the Surface tablet announcement. Let’s discuss the Microsoft malaise that has entered the general consciousness. Instead of coming up with penis jokes, I suggest they focus on business.”
• Dell’s Gaffe And The Geek Girl Struggle
  “Imagine going to a computer store to pick up equipment for a customer. A sales droid with a tenth of your experience tries to talk you into hardware that won’t do what you need. You call tech support about an Internet problem and have to shout your way through four people to find someone with a clue. That person treats you like you’re in preschool, because obviously it’s impossible for female vocal chords to utter the phrase “configure the router in bridged mode” or we’ll turn into quivering wrecks sobbing for a man to fix it.”

Which is why, in honor of Ada Lovelace Day 2012, I’m offering a virtual thumb’s up to all you women in technology for grace under pressure in what seems to be an increasingly hazardous occupation. Good job, ladies. Now let’s get back in the server room and show those boys how it’s done.